Brain Dead and Magenta

I have had the worst case of writers block in my life the last few days. It’s been a traumatic stretch. Maybe it’s because I’m using all my creativity writing procedures at work, or perhaps its because home is a stress stew right now. Either way it’s annoying.

Also annoying is the gorgeous bruise on my thigh from the bout on Saturday, I slide into the penalty box on top of someone else’s skate so its not even a cool story. It hurts, like whenever I move. I had been taking the stairs at work, but the elevator and I have become reacquainted.

Isnt it prety? Its like 7 inches long with the trail of little bruises

Hopefully I will have something better to say after practice tomorrow, we are voting for the 9^th board position. Any public speaking done in derby format is usually hilarious to some degree.

Purple is my favorite color

 I have 9 bruises right now, 6 of which are on my right leg. That particular leg is like a magnet I swear! There are two scars on the shin from skates being run down it and one bruise has been there for nearly a month, every time it starts to go away I land on someone’s skate again.  

Before practice yesterday I noticed that quite a few of my possessions are purple and decided it’s a good color, I then promptly smacked into the end of my bed creating yet another bruise. Good thing bruises are generally purple.

Purple is also one of the colors for my team (red is the other one). A team which is traveling to Boise this weekend for our last travel game this year, this is incredibly exciting for me. Travelling can be stressful; it has a lot of up sides and a lot of down sides. Upside – getting to skate! Downside – riding in the car for hours. Upside – meeting new awesome derby girls! Downside – being away from my family. Upside – getting mini derby vacations with my team! Downside – vacations cost money. It’s definitely riding the derby emotional roller coaster.

I’m still excited though! A non-derby friend of mine is coming along and I adore road trips with this girl. We’re heading up on Friday the day before the bout which I don’t always get to do and this means leaving work early hooray! My derby wife is riding with us and is going to run the merch table during the bout (she’s awesome by the way) and we’re rooming with Reckless and Grenade at the hotel. The rooming is especially awesome because these two are hilarious and splitting rooms 5 ways makes everybody happy.

Really it’s all just generally awesome. Which is why its so fantastic that we wear red and purple, they are awesome colors, and purple is one of my favorites after all.

Derby Love

I wasn’t going to go to practice on Sunday. Its not that I didn’t want to go, I REALLY wanted to. However the boyfriends job had different plans, with no way to get there and no babysitter (my daughter is 4) I was stuck. And then Reckless called! I text her to say that I couldn’t go and could she please tell who ever was running practice that it wasn’t for a lack of trying. About 2 minutes later the phone rang and sweet Reckless told me to be ready I had a ride and a babysitter.

I almost cried.  This is what they mean by derby family, derby community, derby love. Its awesome, something I wasn’t expecting when I signed up for this and as far I can tell, the biggest best benefit to skating in circles 3 nights a week.

It was a small practice, and to be honest I could have missed it. There wasn’t any enlightening strategy and the fat lip I have today is annoying, but I am so glad I got to go. Serious case of the warm and fuzzies over here.  

this is Reckless :)

Grumpy Scrimmaging

Last night I was grumpy. So was the girl next to me, and the one in front of her. I don’t know why I was grumpy, I don’t know why so many others were grumpy but we were. We didn’t get much scrimmaging done, and that’s ok. Sometimes we big girls just need a laugh or two, we need to let go and play a little bit and make nice. So we did; we played cat and mouse and it was wonderful.

Cat and mouse is this funny little game where people lay in pairs all over the floor and a ‘cat’ chases a ‘mouse’. The mouse skates around erratically looking for a pair of other ‘mice’ to lay down next to, there can only be two people in a pair so the outside mouse now has to get up and evade the cat. If the cat tags them then the rolls reverse.

We have played this game several times and it’s usually funny, last night it was hilarious. Nik Yo Face had this awesome strategy where she skated between two sets of ‘mice’ only about 6 feet apart, I’m not sure she ever was the cat. People danced on their toe stops, and skated with desperation akin only to the possibility of actually being eaten. The whole group collectively groaned for whoever had to try and chase our light-footed ref and screamed encouragement at the unlucky soul trying to evade him. Newer skaters wowed the vets with daredevil evasion techniques and the vets teased each other mercilessly. Coco Crusher ended the whole thing by slide crashing into a wall and then shaking with laughter (a relief since we have a bout in a week and a half).

Being an adult is tough; there are days the world stomps on you and the onset of grumpiness can’t be helped. On days such as those it’s very nice to know that there is a place I can go and relive the grade schools years for 20 minutes. It’s nice to play, another of a billion reasons why I love Roller Derby. Even though two skaters ended up with ice as a result of a mere two minutes of grumpy scrimmaging I’m kind of grateful it happened. Because I got to play with my friends and that’s amazing.

of Sunshine and Dunk Tanks and Derby Fundraisers

First off, Happy Belated Fourth of July!!! Monday had me running all over the place, the most interesting destination being my shift at the league fundraiser where we hosted a dunk tank. “Step right up, dunk your favorite derby girl!!!” and make her sinuses ache the next day.

Getting dunked is not the worst thing I have ever volunteered to do, however it’s certainly not my favorite. At least it was almost hot outside. Anyways, here is a list of the 10 things I discovered about Dunk Tanks and Fund Raisers.

1. Lots of people like dunk tanks, especially dunk tanks run by girls who scream and yelp when they get dunked.
2. Being the dunkee is not nearly as fun as being the dunker
3. Water will go up your nose, there is nothing you can do to prevent it.
4. At the end of the day your group energy will be shot, and if you want to keep making money you will have to keep shouting.
5. It warms peoples hearts when you let the little kids run up and push the button after they don’t manage to hit it with the ball, however this is exhausting and probably dunks you way more times then necessary.
6. That water is ‘effin cold!!!!!
7. Not many people look good through that tank window after their seat has collapsed and dumped them in freezing cold water.
8. When there is a dry girl on that platform sales increase 10 fold. Everyone wants to be the one to ruin her hair style.
9. If you have kids, and they are there they will want to dunk you repeatedly. This is actually good for business, someone actively trying to throw the ball makes the crowd stop and watch. (just don’t let them cheat and push the button.)
10. Part of being a derby girl is being a bit of spectacle. You cannot put that away for the fund raisers because then no one gets interested. Be a SPECTACLE, people are interested in different why do you think freak shows made so much money??

There you have it folks, my words of wisdom on Dunk Tanks. Useful? Probably not. Relevant? Only if your fund raising committee head is crazy like ours. Entertaining? I certainly hope so.